Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
