As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
