I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
