Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
