im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
