that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
