there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
