turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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