"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
