The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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