Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god