So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.