If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
