I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I AM VODKA MAN
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
