Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
