I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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