think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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