it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
