my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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