it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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