Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
