Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize