Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
