I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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