Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
