OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
