you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
