I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize