I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
