I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
