this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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