I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
