Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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