Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
