i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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