Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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