If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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