and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i came on her dog
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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