nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Randomize
