her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
