so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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