But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize