Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
