super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
