she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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