too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
