very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
