I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
