Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
