First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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