I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
