You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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