i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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