is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
