Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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