my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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