i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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