where does the pee come out of this thing
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
