hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
