The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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