Dude my mom stole all your condoms
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
