You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize